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We created a social media poll and asked people if they also believe that relationships that move fast fail – or if they think it can be for the long haul.

The majority answered that rushed relationships are not for the long haul.

Most articles you may find will talk about the general reasons why relationships that move fast fail. But here we look at the psychological reasons (based on existing research and theories) to better understand how to fix them.

The most general reasons why relationships that move fast fail, include a lack of trust, communication issues, and unrealistic expectations.

General Reasons Why Relationships Fail

The most general reasons why relationships fail, include a lack of trust, communication issues, and unrealistic expectations.

If you’re moving too fast in a relationship, it’s likely because you’re not taking the time to get to know your partner––it’s not just about the time that you are together. You’re jumping into physical intimacy without really getting to know their personality or their values. This can be a recipe for disaster, as it’s difficult to build a strong relationship on such shaky ground.

Another common reason for relationships failing is a lack of trust. If you don’t trust your partner, it’s going to be difficult to make the relationship work. This doesn’t mean that you have to trust them with everything – after all, you’re two separate people with your own lives – but you should be able to trust them enough to share your thoughts and feelings openly.

If you can’t do this, it’s a sign that the relationship isn’t healthy and is likely to fail in the long run.

Communication is another key ingredient for a successful relationship. If you and your partner can’t communicate effectively, there will be a lot of misunderstandings and resentment building up over time. This is especially true if one person is always doing all the talking while the other person just listens.

A healthy relationship requires both partners to be able to share their thoughts and feelings freely.

Finally, unrealistic expectations can also cause rushed relationships to fail. For example, if one person expects their partner to meet all their needs or if they expect the relationship to progress too quickly, these are unrealistic expectations that are likely to lead to disappointment and heartbreak.

It’s important to remember that no relationship is perfect; every couple will have its ups and downs. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner, and enjoy each moment together as it comes.

If you’re worried that your relationship is moving too fast, take some time to evaluate what’s causing the problem. Talk openly with your partner about your concerns, and work together to establish some ground rules for how you want the relationship to progress. Be patient and give yourselves time to get to know each other better; rushing into things will only lead to heartache in the end.

What is a rushed relationship?

A rushed relationship is basically when two individuals say “yes” to being a couple even if they haven’t had enough time to get to know each other.

But is time really a factor?

What if you have a relationship moving fast but feels right?

Why time, alone, may not be a reason why rushed relationships fail

Robert Sternberg’s Theory of Triangular Love was created in the late 1980s. While defining love is a very difficult one since it involves a lot of factors, his theory focused on people’s variable experiences of intimacy, passion, and commitment. The theory posits that these three components are present at are different levels, at any given time.

Recent research by Sorowski et al (2020) supported Sternberg’s proposal that levels of passion are highest among short-term relationship couples and that commitment is likely to consistently increase over time for those who are in long-term relationships.

Sternberg’s theory believes that time alone is not a predictor of the development of each component and that level of each always varies. The supporting research by Sorowski et. al showed that each component is further influenced by other factors like cultural differences and individual elements like:

• family set-up
• residential status
• work background

An ideal relationship, according to them, has these three components.

As these components can be present at any given time, then it could mean that two people can have these three elements, even when they are in the early stages of a relationship!

We can then say that time alone is not the reason why relationships that move fast fail.Louee Gonzales

Sternberg’s 8 Kinds of Love

For this article, we’ll also include in our discussion later the 8 Kinds of Love:

The 8 Kinds of Love according to Sternberg’s Triangular Love Theory are:

1. Non-Love
2. Liking
3. Companionate Love
4. Empty Love
5. Fatuous Love
6. Infatuation
7. Romantic Love
8. Consummate Love

After we examine the psychological reasons why rushed relationships fail, let’s also look at the most common reasons for failed rushed relationships you may have read online and let’s see where they fit on a psychological basis.

Psychological Reasons Why Relationships that Move Fast Fail

You may read about the common reasons why rushed relationships fail, but here’s a psychological on why fast-moving relationships are prone to failure. By looking at this perspective we can have a good look at how to appropriately take measures for fast relationships to last.

Here are three things that we would discuss further into.

1. One or both people are more inclined to have casual sex/relationships.
2. Unresolved issues in attachment styles.
3. Optimism Bias

Let’s now dissect what researches say and the psychology behind each.

One or both people are more inclined to have casual sex/relationships.

Some of the reasons for preferring casual sex/relationships that we’ll look into are psychological findings about having pathological personality traits and avoidance of attachments.

Having pathological personality traits

A study of 702 students showed that those with “pathological personality traits” tended to also be more interested in casual sex. Pathological personality traits are as follows:

• Detachment – characterized by introversion, social isolation, and anhedonia (Anhedonia is having reduced interest in activities an individual used to enjoy, as well as a decreased ability to feel pleasure)
• Antagonism – aggressive tendencies accompanied by assertions of dominance and grandiosity
• Disinhibition –  impulsivity and sensation seeking
• Psychoticism –  a disconnection from reality and a tendency to experience illogical thought patterns

Their study showed that men report higher tendencies of detachment, antagonism, disinhibition, and psychoticism than women, and thus were more inclined to prefer having casual sex.

According to a study, attachment avoidance, not anxiety, was predictive of not entering into committed dating relationships even with rival predictors included.

Attachment avoidance and not anxiety has been shown to be a strong predictor of not entering into committed dating relationships, even when rival predictors are included. This research provides further evidence of how attachment avoidance plays a role in romantic relationships.

Defining Attachment Avoidance

Attachment avoidance is an individual’s tendency to avoid emotional closeness and intimacy in relationships, including romantic relationships. It is typically seen as a defense mechanism, as those with this trait may be afraid of becoming too close to others and may be uncomfortable with displays of affection. Individuals with attachment avoidance can become uncomfortable when discussing sensitive topics, may keep others at a distance, and may have difficulty expressing their feelings.

Attachment avoidance has been linked to a number of other psychological issues, such as depression and anxiety. It is thought to have its roots in childhood experiences and is seen as a way to protect a person from becoming too emotionally close to another person.

The Role of Attachment Avoidance in Dating Relationships

Attachment avoidance can have a significant impact on dating relationships. Those who are highly avoidant may not be willing to invest in a relationship or may be unwilling to commit to a long-term relationship. They may also be afraid of becoming too close to someone and may be unable to open up and share their feelings.

Attachment avoidance can also lead to difficulty in communication and understanding. Those who are avoidant may be less willing to discuss important issues with their partners or may be unable to understand their partner’s perspective. This can lead to conflicts that can be difficult to resolve.

Attachment avoidance can also lead to a lack of trust in relationships. Those who are highly avoidant may not be able to trust their partner or may be unable to feel secure in the relationship. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and can make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.

Impact of Attachment Avoidance on Dating Relationships

A recent study examined the effects of attachment avoidance on dating relationships. Participants in the study were asked to complete a survey that measured their attachment avoidance and their attitudes toward dating relationships. The study found that those with higher levels of attachment avoidance were less likely to enter into committed relationships than those with lower levels of attachment avoidance.

The study also found that attachment avoidance was a stronger predictor of not entering into committed relationships than other factors such as anxiety. This suggests that attachment avoidance is an important factor to consider when evaluating a person’s ability to enter into and maintain a healthy relationship.

Attachment avoidance is an important factor to consider when evaluating a person’s ability to enter into and maintain a healthy relationship. The results of this study suggest that attachment avoidance is a stronger predictor of not entering into committed relationships than other factors such as anxiety, even when rival predictors are included. It is important to be aware of the role that attachment avoidance can play in relationships and to be mindful of the potential risks that it can bring.

Unresolved issues in attachment styles

​​When it comes to relationships, things can move fast and there’s no denying that. From the initial connection and sparks flying, to the teenage love affair that somehow seems to happen overnight—it can all be over before you know it. But, while it may seem like a whirlwind romance, the truth is that when it comes to relationships that move fast and fail, there may be more of a psychological cause than you think.

Studies have revealed that one of the biggest psychological reasons why relationships that move fast fail is unresolved attachment styles issues. Attachment styles are essentially the way someone reacts to and interacts with relationships. There are four primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Each of these styles presents its own set of issues that can cause relationships to end quickly.

Secure Attachment:

People with secure attachment styles have a strong sense of trust in their relationships and are comfortable with expressing their emotions and needs. They are less likely to be overly possessive or jealous, and more likely to share a positive outlook on relationships.

Anxious Attachment:

People with anxious attachment styles may be overly clingy and dependent on their partner. They may also have trust issues, which can lead to a lack of communication and a feeling of insecurity. The need to be constantly reassured can cause the relationship to move too fast, leading to an imbalance of power and feelings of frustration.

Avoidant Attachment:

People with avoidant attachment styles may struggle to open up and connect with their partner. They may also be afraid of becoming too attached, leading to a lack of commitment and a fear of intimacy. This can lead to a cycle of pushing away and pulling closer, which can cause the relationship to become unstable and eventually fail.

Disorganized Attachment:

People with disorganized attachment styles may struggle to trust and rely on their partner. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and a sense of being lost in the relationship. This can lead to a lack of communication, which can cause the relationship to move too quickly and eventually crumble.

It is important to note that no one attachment style is better than the other, and that all of them can be worked on and improved with the right kind of support. However, unresolved attachment styles issues can be a major factor in why relationships that move too fast tend to fail. If both partners are aware of their own attachment styles and take the time to work on them, it can help create a more stable and secure relationship.

It can also be beneficial to seek out the help of a therapist or counsellor if you are struggling with unresolved attachment styles issues. A professional can help you to understand your attachment style and provide you with strategies to help you to create a healthier and more balanced relationship.

Overall, unresolved attachment styles issues can be a major factor in why relationships that move too fast tend to fail. If both partners are aware of their own attachment styles and take the time to work on them, it can help create a more stable and secure relationship. It is also important to note that while unresolved attachment styles issues can be a major factor in why relationships that move too fast fail, they are not the only factor. Other things such as communication, trust, and commitment can also play a major role in the success or failure of a relationship. 

By understanding attachment styles, couples can take the time to work on their own individual issues and create a healthier and more balanced relationship. With a little bit of effort and understanding, relationships that move too fast can be just as successful and long-lasting as those that take their time.

Optimism Bias​​

Have you ever heard the saying, “love at first sight”? It’s a romantic notion that many people believe can lead to a successful relationship, but in reality, it can be a recipe for disaster. Sometimes relationships that move too quickly can fail due to a psychological phenomenon known as the optimism bias. The optimism bias is the tendency for people to overestimate the likelihood of positive outcomes and underestimate the likelihood of negative outcomes. This bias can have a powerful effect on relationships, and can lead to unrealistic expectations that can cause them to fail.

What is Optimism Bias?

The optimism bias is a cognitive bias that affects the way people perceive and evaluate events, outcomes, and risks. People tend to overestimate the likelihood of positive outcomes and underestimate the likelihood of negative outcomes. For example, if someone is asked to estimate their chances of winning a lottery, they will likely overestimate the likelihood of winning, because they are more likely to focus on the possibility of a positive outcome. Similarly, when asked to estimate the likelihood of a negative outcome, such as getting in a car accident, people will tend to underestimate the likelihood of that happening.

This psychological phenomenon is believed to be an evolutionary adaptation that helps to protect individuals from fear and anxiety by providing them with a sense of false hope and security. People are more likely to take risks and pursue opportunities if they believe that the outcome will be positive, even if the odds are not in their favor.

How Does Optimism Bias Affect Relationships That Move Fast?

The optimism bias can have an especially powerful effect on relationships that move quickly. When two people form a relationship quickly, they often have unrealistic expectations and assume that the relationship will be perfect, which can be a recipe for disaster. People with the optimism bias overestimate the likelihood of positive outcomes and underestimate the likelihood of negative outcomes, which can lead them to ignore warning signs, overlook potential problems, and disregard red flags.

When people assume that their relationship is destined to be perfect, they are less likely to take the time to get to know each other, establish trust, and build a strong foundation for the relationship. As a result, the relationship is more likely to be unstable and prone to conflict, which can lead to an abrupt ending.

The optimism bias can also lead people to overlook negative behaviors in their partner, such as dishonesty, infidelity, and abuse. People may assume that the negative behaviors are temporary, and that they can be resolved or changed. However, this is often not the case, and the negative behavior only gets worse over time.

How Can We Avoid the Optimism Bias?

The best way to avoid the optimism bias is to take the time to get to know your partner before forming a relationship. Take the time to learn about your partner’s interests, values, and goals, and discuss potential issues that could arise. This will help you to gain a better understanding of each other and establish a strong foundation for the relationship.

It’s also important to be realistic about the relationship and to acknowledge potential problems that could arise. Taking the time to discuss potential issues can help to prevent them from escalating into larger problems. Additionally, it’s important to be aware of the warning signs of a dysfunctional relationship, such as controlling behavior, dishonesty, and abuse. It’s important to address these issues as soon as possible, and to be willing to walk away if the relationship becomes unhealthy or abusive.

The optimism bias is a cognitive bias that can have a powerful effect on relationships that move quickly. People with the optimism bias tend to overestimate the likelihood of positive outcomes and underestimate the likelihood of negative outcomes, which can lead them to ignore warning signs, overlook potential problems, and disregard red flags. This can lead to unrealistic expectations and an unstable relationship, which can ultimately lead to a failed relationship. To avoid the optimism bias, it’s important to take the time to get to know your partner and be realistic about the relationship. Additionally, it’s important to be aware of the warning signs of a dysfunctional relationship and to address potential issues as soon as possible.

8 Common Reasons Of Failed Rushed Relationships You May Read Online

Relationships that move too fast tend to fail for a myriad of reasons. While some couples may be able to make it work, for the majority, here is a video of the 10 most common reasons why these relationships fall apart and a few other reasons that are not mentioned:

1. One or both partners are not ready for a serious relationship and only looking for a fling.

When two people move too fast, it’s often because one or both of them are not ready for a serious commitment. They may be looking for something casual or they may not be emotionally ready to settle down. This can lead to a lot of conflict and disappointment down the road.

If one or both partners are just looking for a casual fling, then moving too fast is only going to lead to trouble. When you move too fast, you’re getting emotionally attached to someone who only wants sex from you – and that’s not fair to either party involved especially if one is looking for a more serious kind of relationship.

2. One or both partners are not over their exes.

If one or both partners are still hung up on their exes, it’s unlikely that the new relationship will last long. When you move too fast, you’re essentially moving on from your old relationship before you’ve even ended it properly. This can lead to a lot of resentment and bitterness down the line.

3. One or both partners are not fully committed to the relationship.

When you move too fast, it’s often because one or both partners are not 100% invested in the relationship. They may be going along with it because it’s convenient or because they’re afraid of being alone, but they’re not really invested in making things work. This is a recipe for disaster and is sure to end in heartbreak eventually.

4. One or both partners are afraid of commitment.

Some people fear commitment above all else and will do anything to avoid getting into a serious relationship. If this is the case, then moving too fast is only going to make things worse. The faster things move, the more pressure there is on the relationship – and eventually, one or both partners will bail out when they can no longer handle the stress.

5. One or both partners are not being completely honest with each other.

If you’re not being completely honest with your partner, then the relationship is doomed to fail. When you move too fast, there’s no time to get to know each other properly – and that means you’re likely to end  up with someone who’s not really compatible with you.

6. One or both partners are too needy or possessive.

When one or both partners are too needy, it puts a lot of pressure on the relationship. When you move too fast, there’s no time to build a strong foundation – and that means the relationship is more likely to crumble when things get tough.

Possessiveness is a major red flag in any relationship – but it’s especially dangerous when you move too fast. When you’re moving too quickly, you’re more likely to get jealous and controlling – and that’s a recipe for disaster.

7. One or both partners are trying to “fix” each other.

When you move too fast, it’s often because one or both partners are trying to “fix” each other. They may be attracted to each other’s potential, but they’re not really interested in who the other person is. This is a recipe for disaster and is sure to end in heartbreak.

8. One or both partners are expecting too much from the relationship.

When you move too fast, it’s easy to start expecting things from your partner that they may not be able to deliver. This can lead to a lot of disappointment and frustration, and it’s one of the main reasons why relationships that move too fast often fail.

If you find yourself in a relationship that’s moving too fast, it’s important to slow things down before it’s too late. Take some time to really get to know your partner and make sure that you’re on the same page. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.

Now let’s group these reasons and examine the psychological reasons behind them.

Relationship Moving Fast But Feels Right: How fast should a relationship progress?

There is no “right” answer when it comes to how fast a relationship should progress.

Some couples click immediately and find themselves introducing their partner to their family after just a few dates, while others take things slow and easy, waiting months or even years before taking that step.

Moving too quickly can be a sign of being overly eager or needing validation from others, and may lead to an unhealthy dependency on the relationship. On the other hand, taking things too slowly can make it difficult to gauge whether there is real chemistry and compatibility. The best way to navigate these waters is to follow your gut instinct and move at a pace that feels comfortable for both partners.

It’s tough to know how fast is too fast when it comes to relationships. On one hand, you want to move at a pace that feels right for both you and your partner. On the other hand, you don’t want things to progress so quickly that they end up fizzling out before they’ve had a chance to really get going.

So, how can you tell if your relationship is moving too fast? Here are four signs to look out for.

You Haven’t Been Dating That Long

One of the biggest indicators that a relationship is moving too fast is the amount of time that you’ve been dating. If you’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks or months, things are likely moving too quickly. In general, couples who have been dating for shorter periods are more likely to move at a faster pace than those who have been together for longer.

This is because, in the early stages of a relationship, we tend to idealize our partners and see them in a rosier light than we do later on. As time goes on and we get to know our partners better, it’s normal for some of the initial infatuations to fade and for us to start seeing them as more fallible human beings.

So, if you’ve only been dating someone for a short while and things are already starting to feel serious, it might be worth slowing things down a bit.

You’re Seeing Each Other Almost Every Day

Another sign that your relationship might be moving too fast is if you’re seeing each other almost every day. If you live close by or work together, it’s only natural that you would end up spending a lot of time together. But if you live far apart and make a point of seeing each other as often as possible, it could mean that you’re getting too invested too quickly.

When we start dating someone new, it’s normal to want to spend as much time with them as possible but try not to let yourself get swept up in the excitement of it all. Instead, take some time apart from your partner now and then so that you can miss them and maintain some sense of independence in your relationship.

For any relationship to work, you must spend time apart. You get an opportunity to realize how much you miss and value one another’s companionship. If you have been together nonstop since the beginning, things are moving too quickly.

You Haven’t Done Much Together Outside of Date Nights

Another way to tell if things are progressing too quickly is by looking at the types of activities that you do together as a couple. Do you mainly just go on dates or hang out at each other’s homes? 

Or do you also go out and do things together in the wider world? If it’s mostly just the two of you, it could be a sign that your relationship is getting too intimate too soon without having any sort of foundation to build upon.

Try branching out and doing new things together so that your relationship has some substance behind it.

You Haven’t Met Each Other’s Friends or Family Yet

Finally, another big indicator that things may be moving too fast is whether or not you’ve met each other’s friends and family yet. Introducing someone new into our social circles is a big step in any relationship since it means that we view them as being part of our lives long-term rather than just a passing fling.

So, if you haven’t met each other’s friends or family yet but already feel like things are getting serious between you, it might be worth pumping the brakes so that everyone has time to adjust accordingly.

In general, there isn’t necessarily a correct answer when it comes to how fast is too fast for relationships since everyone moves at their own pace. However, if you’re unsure about whether or not things are progressing too quickly for your liking, consider taking stock of how long you’ve been dating, how often you see each other, what kinds of activities you do together outside date nights, and whether or not either of you have introduced each other into your social circles yet.

If any (or all!) of these signs ring true for your relationship, it might be worth taking things down a notch so that both parties have time to adjust accordingly.

Risks Of Moving Fast Into A Relationship

Is it a bad thing to move too fast in a relationship? There’s no single answer to this question since it can depend on the specific circumstances of each relationship. However, some psychological research has found that moving too quickly in a relationship can sometimes be associated with negative outcomes.

For example, one study found that people who moved too fast in their relationships were more likely to have lower relationship satisfaction and more relationship conflict. They were also more likely to feel anxious and insecure in their relationships. 

Additionally, another study found that couples who moved too rapidly into committed relationships were more likely to break up within the first year than couples who took things slower. 

It’s important to keep in mind that these findings are correlational, which means that they don’t necessarily show causation. There are many reasons why couples who move too quickly in their relationships might have lower satisfaction or be more likely to break up.

It could be that couples who move too fast are simply more impulsive in general, which could lead to negative outcomes in any area of their lives – not just their relationships.

That said, if you’re in a relationship that’s moving too quickly for your comfort level, trying to slow things down might be helpful. Talk to your partner about your concerns and see if they’re open to taking things a bit slower. If they’re not, it might be a sign that they’re not really compatible with you in the long run.

You’re looking for fulfillment in someone else’s life instead of working on your own life

If you want a successful relationship, you should work on being fulfilled by your own life first. This means having a good career, great friends, and hobbies that make you happy. When you’re fulfilled by your own life, you’ll be less likely to enter into a relationship with someone who is looking for fulfillment in their partner.

Fast-paced relationships frequently lead to separation because their inner loneliness makes them believe that if they don’t commit right away, they’ll miss their chance and be left alone. Another factor is that those in these relationships like to feel valued and unique by their partners. They desire both attention and a sense of necessity.

Individuals motivated by loneliness to be in a relationship are likely to have issues around emotional and physical insecurities and low self-worth. They may believe that they are unlovable or that they are not deserving of love. They consequently try to dominate the connection by holding on to the other person.

Even while it’s common to desire to get close to the person you’re dating, moving too quickly might backfire.  trust, respect, and understanding, these partnerships frequently end in failure. Therefore, if you’re considering going too quickly, stop and consider whether you’re actually prepared for the commitment.

You rush into things without getting to know one another first

Why do so many relationships that get off to a hot and heavy start eventually end? When you first meet someone, you usually don’t know much about them. So how can you expect a deep, meaningful relationship with someone if you don’t take the time to get to know them first?

Rushing into things can blind you to potential problems down the road and set you up for a painful breakup. Even the most vibrant relationship can instantly lose its luster if it is based on a weak foundation of respect, communication, and trust.

Whenever you rush, it could also indicate that you’re always focused on the future, it means you’re not really enjoying the present. And if you’re not enjoying the present, why bother entering into a relationship at all? It’s important to live in the moment and savor the time you have with your partner. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.

So if you’re thinking of starting a serious relationship with someone new, go at your own pace and savor getting to know them. It’s the greatest method to make sure that your relationship has a chance to develop into something rewarding and long-lasting.

You are less prepared when problems arise

If you rush into things, you’re less likely to be prepared for the inevitable problems that arise in all relationships. Problems are a natural part of any relationship, but if you haven’t taken the time to get to know your partner, it can be more difficult to deal with them when they do come up.

Lack of communication is one of the key causes of partnerships that end quickly. It’s critical to communicate clearly when two individuals are getting to know one another in order to prevent misunderstandings. A relationship may not have enough time for efficient communication if it develops too rapidly.

Conflicts that are difficult to settle may result from rushed relationships. A lack of closeness or intimacy might sometimes result from going too quickly. Two individuals have the chance to communicate their ideas and feelings more fully while they are progressively getting to know one another.

But if a relationship develops too rapidly, there might not be enough time for this intimacy to develop.

You may not be on the same page about what you want

If you don’t take the time to get to know each other, you may not be on the same page about what you want out of the relationship. One person may be looking for something serious while the other is just trying to have some fun. This can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and resentment down the road.

Moving too quickly might sometimes be an indication that either partner is not prepared for a committed relationship. Conflict and ultimately a breakup may result if one partner is prepared to commit while the other isn’t.

It’s also likely that it may result in inflated, sometimes even unrealistic expectations. You’re likely to be let down if you anticipate your relationship developing at the same rapid speed as it did when it first began. These factors make partnerships that progress too quickly prone to failure.

You can lose yourself in the relationship

When you move too quickly, it’s easy to lose yourself in the relationship. You may find yourself changing your plans and priorities to match your partner’s instead of doing what’s best for you. This can be a recipe for disaster as it can lead to feeling trapped and suffocated in the relationship.

Your friends and family may not approve

If you move too quickly, your friends and family may not approve. They may think you’re rushing into things and they may not be wrong. It’s important to listen to the people who care about you and take their concerns seriously. They may see things that you’re missing.

You are hiding in the excitement  and avoiding your life

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship and start avoiding your life. But if you find yourself doing this, it’s a sign that something is wrong. A relationship should enhance your life, not be a replacement for it. You stop communicating with your friends and

You don’t know yet if you are compatible

If you move too fast, you may not have the time to figure out if you’re actually compatible. Compatibility is important for a relationship to work long-term. If you’re not compatible, it’s likely that the relationship will eventually fizzle out.

You are betraying your own values and being dishonest to yourself

When you move too fast, you may start to betray your own values. Maybe you’ll find yourself doing things you said you would never do or acting in ways that are out of character for you. This can be a sign that the relationship is not right for you.

When you move too quickly, you may start to be dishonest with yourself. You’re not giving yourself the time to really process your feelings and figure out what you want. This can lead to making decisions that you’ll later regret.

It takes time to build trust

Trust is an important part of any relationship. But it takes time to build trust. If you move too fast, you may not have the time to develop trust before things start to go wrong. This can be a recipe for disaster.

Trust is built on honesty, communication, and time. If you want to build trust, you need to be honest with your partner and communicate openly. You also need to give the relationship time to grow.

You mistake lust for love

Lust and love are two very different things. It’s easy to mistake lust for love when you move too fast. But if you take the time to get to know each other, it’s easier to tell the difference.

Love is built on trust, respect, and commitment. It takes time to develop these things. If you move too fast, you may only be feeling lust. This can lead to a lot of heartache down the road.

You make decisions based on emotions rather than facts

When you move too fast, you may start to make decisions based on your emotions rather than facts. This can lead to impulsive decisions that you later regret. It’s important to take the time to think things through before you make any decisions. Another person should never be a replacement for your own good judgment.

You fall for the idea of them, not the reality

When you move too fast, you may start to fall for the idea of the person rather than the reality. This can lead to disappointment when you finally get to know them and realize they’re not who you thought they were. It’s important to get to know someone before you get too attached to them.

You ignore red flags

When you move too fast, you may start to ignore red flags. This can be a sign that you’re desperate for the relationship to work. But if you ignore red flags, you may be setting yourself up for heartache down the road.

It’s important to listen to your gut and pay attention to red flags. If something feels off, it probably is.

Don’t put them on a pedestal, when you move too fast, you may start to put your partner on a pedestal. This can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment. It’s important to remember that no one is perfect. Everyone has  flaws. If you can accept your partner’s flaws, you’ll be much happier in the long run.

It’s easier to get cold feet

When you move too fast, it’s easier to get cold feet. This can be a sign that you’re not ready for the relationship. If you find yourself getting cold feet, it may be best to slow things down.

Can you save a relationship that moved too fast?

It is possible to save a relationship that moved too fast. But it will take time, patience, and effort. If you want to make things work, you need to be honest with your partner and communicate openly. You also need to give the relationship time to grow.

If you’re not sure if you’re ready for a relationship, it may be best to take things slow. Start with dating and see how things progress. Don’t rush into anything and take the time to really get to know each other.

When it comes to relationships, slow and steady wins the race. If you want your relationship to last, don’t move too fast. Take the time to build a strong foundation and you’ll be much more likely to have a happy, healthy relationship.

Rushed relationships are like sparks that can end too soon.

How to fix relationships that move too fast

Relationships that move too fast can be difficult to fix. However, there are some things that you can do in order to try and salvage the relationship.

The first thing you need to do is to talk to your partner about the issues that you are having.

This can be a difficult conversation, but it is important that you both communicate with each other. You may need to take some time to cool down before you have this conversation, but it is worth it in the end.

It’s crucial to express your worries freely and honestly if your relationship seems hurried. Inform your spouse of your feelings and the reasons you believe that things may be going too quickly. They could be willing to slow things down if they are aware of how you are feeling and that it is important to you. It is conceivable that they are unaware of how you are experiencing it.

You also need to make sure that you are both on the same page. If one person is trying to move faster than the other person is comfortable with, then this will not work. It is important to respect each other’s boundaries and to move at a pace that is comfortable for both of you.

You need to make sure that you are both putting in the effort.

If one person is doing all of the work, then the relationship will not last long. You both need to be invested in making the relationship work. This can be achieved by respecting each other’s time and demands. Do not force them to do anything they are not willing to do, and do not always expect them to always be there for you when you want to.

Establish some ground rules for your mutual communication.

Establishing ground rules for your communication style might be beneficial. For instance, you may decide to only communicate with each other by text or phone during specific hours, or you could decide to spend one night a week apart. This can lessen the likelihood of misunderstandings and conflicts brought on by poor communication.

Look for activities you can do together that you both enjoy.

You may strengthen your relationship by spending time with each other doing things you both want to do. Due to the fact that you’ll be focusing on something constructive, it might also aid in preventing disputes and conflict. Try something novel and exciting, or something leisurely and low-key, if you’re unsure of the type of activities you two should engage in.

Tips for Resolving Typical Relationship Issues

Relationships tend to end when one or both parties give up on resolving the root of their issues. Here are some suggestions to help you maintain your relationship through this rocky phase:

Be Clear With Your Goals

You need to be aware of your goals for yourself, your career, and what you want to accomplish together when being in a relationship. Both parties must be accounted for in each other’s plans and they should express their desires openly.

Whatever each of you may need, it’s important that one would be willing to adjust, compromise, and come to a decision. This is how to deepen the courting phase.

Be emotionally available

As you and your partner try to reach your goals, there would be instances when your day doesn’t quite work out, whether it is due to their job, their goals in life, or anything else. You or your partner may need help during this time.

Even though compassion and understanding could mean the world to them, if you aren’t there for them when they need you most, they might start to question your loyalty, which could be seen as a warning sign. Allow your love to grow as you demonstrate your compassion and support.

Even a simple presence like being on call with them to hear their venting out would mean a lot for someone who’s in distress. Remember that you should let them feel that they are heard, not dismissed, not played down.

Use effective communication techniques

Communication is the most important aspect of every relationship. Your tone also plays the majority of how your argument could go.

Regular communication may make the two of your feel connected. It improves communication between you two, teaches you about one another’s preferences, and unquestionably forges a bond that is stronger than you could have ever imagined.

Distance may make you think that regular communication is difficult but it doesn’t have to be as long as you create ground rules on how to go about it.

Truth is if you want things to work out, there would be ways, if not then, there will only be reasons.

Respect for one another is also a crucial thing when working things out. Instead of imposing your own preferences, it’s important to value and respect the other person’s choices. Additionally, you should refrain from being rude or disparaging to one another, especially if you’re both out with friends or attending an event together.

Be Accountable and Avoid Blaming Each Other

It’s common for a person being blamed to be infuriated and to get combative when they are accused of anything. This might cause a dispute.

Instead of saying, “You’re the reason why…” you can tone it down to be saying, “I think it would help if…”. Sometimes rephrasing how you want to say things can save you from getting into arguments.

Never Compare Your Partner

Everyone is unique and special in their own way, so it’s important not to compare your partner to other people. Constantly comparing them to others will only make them feel insecure and less confident in themselves.

It’s important to accept your partner for who they are and encourage them to be the best version of themselves. If you do find yourself comparing your partner to others, try to focus on the positive qualities and attributes that you love and appreciate. By doing this, you’ll be able to see them in a more positive light and appreciate them more for who they are.

A Woman’s POV: What They Feel About Men Who Move Too Fast in Relationships

When it comes to relationships, men and women often operate on different timelines. Men tend to move faster and be more eager to commit quickly than women. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to find a serious relationship, moving too fast can often be a red flag.

It might mean that he’s looking for a fling or trying to take things too quickly without getting to know you first. In this blog post, we’ll explore why men move too fast in relationships from a woman’s perspective.

Moving too fast can often be a sign that he’s not looking for anything serious.

If a guy is moving too fast, it might mean that he’s only interested in a physical relationship or a fling. He might be trying to rush things because he doesn’t want things to get too complicated or he doesn’t want to get hurt.

Some guys advance in relationships too quickly, which may be quite off-putting to women. Rushing things indicates that a man is solely interested in getting into bed with the lady he is with and has no interest in getting to know her. Women who desire to feel respected and admired for qualities more than just their physical appearance may find this to be quite irritating and offending.

It can also be a sign that he’s insecure or has commitment issues.

Another reason why men might move too fast in relationships is that they’re insecure or have commitment issues. They could be afraid of getting hurt or being rejected, so they try to Rush things in order to avoid those feelings. This type of behavior is often subconscious and not something that they’re doing intentionally.

However, some men may hurry into partnerships in an effort to fill a gap in their own lives. This may be the result of a number of factors, such as having recently been widowed or divorced or believing they are insufficient on their own.

It could also just mean that he’s really into you.

Of course, there is also the possibility that the guy is just really into you and he wants things to progress quickly because he can’t get enough of you. In this case, it’s probably nothing to worry about as long as you’re on the same page. If you’re not ready for things to progress that quickly, then it’s important to communicate with him so that he knows where you stand.

Let him know your position and that you won’t be pressured to make a decision. Honesty with oneself on one’s own emotions is equally crucial. Avoid forcing yourself into a committed relationship if you aren’t ready for one. You shouldn’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything; instead, move at your own pace.

There are several reasons why men might move too fast in relationships. It could be because they’re only interested in something physical, they’re insecure or have commitment issues, or they could just really like you. As long as you’re on the same page, there’s no need to worry about it. However, if you’re not ready for things to progress quickly, then it’s important to communicate with him so that he knows where you stand.

Fast relationships that last

We’ve all heard the phrase “love at first sight” and most of us have experienced it at least once in our lives. But what happens when that love doesn’t last? Is it possible to have a fast relationship that lasts? The answer is yes. Fast relationships that last are possible, but they require a special kind of commitment and dedication.

The concept of a fast relationship is one that develops quickly, often within days or weeks, and is based on an intense connection or attraction. A fast relationship may be fueled by a mutual desire for something more than just a casual relationship, such as a marriage or long-term commitment. But the key to success is to take the time to get to know each other, and nurture the connection over time.

This article will explore the concept of fast relationships that last, and provide tips on how to make them successful.

The Benefits of Fast Relationships

One of the main benefits of a fast relationship is that it can provide a sense of security and stability. When two people move quickly into a relationship, it can feel like a safe haven from the outside world. It can be reassuring to know that someone is there who is dedicated to you and your happiness.

Another benefit of a fast relationship is that it can provide a greater level of intimacy. When two people move quickly into a relationship, they often share more of themselves than they would in a more traditional relationship. This can lead to a deeper connection and understanding of one another.

Fast relationships can also be beneficial because they can help to bring out the best in each other. When two people move quickly into a relationship, they often challenge each other to be the best versions of themselves. This can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

Tips for Making Fast Relationships Last

One of the most important tips for making a fast relationship last is to take the time to get to know each other. It is easy to get swept away in the intensity of the connection, but it is important to take the time to really get to know each other. Ask questions about each other’s past and present, dreams and aspirations, and values and beliefs. This will help to build a strong foundation for the relationship.

It is also important to be open and honest with each other. In a fast relationship, it can be tempting to rush into things without really discussing or understanding each other’s feelings. But it is important to take the time to talk and listen to each other, and to be honest about any issues or concerns.

It is also important to keep the relationship fresh and exciting. One way to do this is to try new activities together, such as taking a cooking class or going for a hike. This will help to keep the spark alive and ensure that the relationship does not become dull or stagnant.

Finally, it is important to make time for each other. Even though life can get busy at times, it is important to make sure that the relationship is a priority. Set aside time to spend together, whether it is an evening out or a weekend getaway. This will help to ensure that the relationship remains strong and healthy.

Fast relationships that last are possible, but they require a special kind of commitment and dedication. It is important to take the time to get to know each other, be open and honest with each other, and make time for each other. With some effort and dedication, fast relationships can be successful and long-lasting.

Affirmations are short and straightforward statements intended to create self-change in the individual using them. 

I first learned of this from the positive psychology school that I wrote for before, but it’s only recently that I remember that I had actually encountered these when I was younger.

The story will be in the later part of the articles, but one thing is for sure, my mother was a sly one!

Using Positive Affirmations for Self Love

There are different uses of affirmations in applied positive psychology, but generally, it aims to restructure an individual’s subconscious to encourage a positive belief of a concept about oneself, the environment, and the situation they are in.

These can also help build a foundation of a reality that we want to have— like attracting love, wealth, happiness, and beauty.

Walter E. Jacobson, M.D., mentioned that affirmation is truly helpful as the subconscious plays a vital role in realizing the life we want and the expression of our desires. He said that the things that we believe about ourselves at a subconscious level could substantially impact future outcomes. 

Some proponents of the “law of attraction” mentioned how amplifying the vibrations that you have will attract the same kind of things in your life:

Like when we put together a positive attitude and feel good about ourselves, our lives tend to go smoothly.

On the other hand, a negative attitude coupled with feeling bad about oneself may cause an individual to engage in self-defeating behaviors, resulting in adverse outcomes, like financial mishaps, interpersonal crises, or acute or chronic illness.

The following are the most common way of using affirmations: 

• Some suggest that you do affirmation activities first thing in the morning and last thing before bedtime. 
• Others recommend putting them on note cards that can be easily seen,  like the bathroom mirror, steering wheel on your car, computer monitor, or in your wallet, purse, or bag. 
• Some suggest writing affirmations down daily is helpful because writing becomes another mechanism that helps affirmation become part of a person’s unconscious mind.
• Others recommend reading or repeating affirmations from a list, stack of cards, or smartphone apps.

Do Positive Affirmations Work?

The answer is YES, as there is scientific evidence to back it up. 

• Research by Creswell and colleagues (2013) found that self-affirmations buffer stress and improve problem-solving performance in underachieving and highly stressed individuals.
• There is research that showed evidence of how affirmations help you in performing better at work. According to the study, spending just a few minutes thinking about one’s best qualities before a high-pressure meeting (ex: performance review) can help calm nerves, increase confidence, and improve chances of a successful outcome.
• Self-affirmation was also used to successfully treat individuals with low self-esteem, depression tendencies, and other mental health conditions. Results showed that the affirmations stimulated the brain areas that make people more likely to affect positive changes in health.
• A study suggests that having a stronger sense of self-worth helps in improved well-being. For example, if you’re worried that you seemed to be eating more and don’t get to have enough exercise, using affirmations to remind yourself of your values can urge you to change your behavior.

Interestingly research found that low self-esteemed people may not be helped outright by affirmations and may even make them feel worse.

This results from the conflict between a person’s current negative regard of oneself and the positive state desired through affirmations.

To combat this, a person should first work on boosting their self-esteem before using affirmations. 

How to Get Started With Positive Affirmations

Self-affirmations can be regarded as a simple intervention of applied positive psychology. But Before diving straight into writing a list of affirmations, there are three things that we must go through:

1. An evaluation of behavior patterns that hampers our best interests— knowing these can help us affirmations that can indeed impact our well-being. 
2. Motivation. Knowing that our subconscious is not always aligned with what we want to happen to ourselves, the use of repeated affirmations will help it keep aligned with our visions. 
3. If we want our positive affirmations to be effective, we need to learn how to construct these statements in the right ways. This way, our positive affirmations are more likely to lead to more positive actions, emotions, and experiences.

The following are the guidelines for constructing positive affirmations:

• Positive affirmations should be vocalized out loud and repeated
• Always use the present tense when saying positive affirmations
• Avoid negatives in positive affirmations
• Create positive affirmations focusing on the solution and not the problem
• Craft positive affirmations that are specific, simple, and direct
• Fill your positive affirmations with passion
• Add visualizations to your positive affirmations
• Ground your positive affirmations in your body
• Start your positive affirmation practice
• Take action on your positive affirmations
• Stick to your positive affirmations

Once have a set of affirmations, it must be used daily—at a minimum—to be effective.

Affirmations can become a source of inspiration or a simple reminder for oneself. They can also be used in focusing attention on daily goals. The slight shift in daily actions has the full potential to promote positive and self-sustained change in habits, activities, and thinking. 

A Memory and Legacy of my Mother 

The book that my mother gave us was the book by Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World.

When I read it back then, it did not make any sense to me. I did not even appreciate it. My brother and I were tasked to read it and list down the ten scroll titles in the book.

We didn’t know that my mother was actually writing down the affirmations. I also remember that right after that, we were to recite the list we got from the book for about a week! 

I reread it recently, and here are the ten scroll titles to share with you:

• Scroll I – Commitment: I will form good habits and become their slaves
• Scroll II – Love: I will greet this day with love in my heart
• Scroll III – Persistence: I will persist until I succeed
• Scroll IV – Miracle: I am nature’s greatest miracle
• Scroll V – Time: I will live this day as if it is my last
• Scroll VI – Emotion: Today I will be a master of my emotions
• Scroll VII – Laughter: I will laugh at the world
• Scroll VIII – Value: Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold
• Scroll IX – Action: I will act now
• Scroll X – Guidance: I will pray for guidance

My mother died a decade ago, and I can’t help but smile at the thought of her cunningly teaching us affirmations way before we were ready, but I guess that will remain her legacy.

A memory that I and my brother will never forget. 

It was amusing to learn now the purpose of what she made us do back then.

Who knew that I’d figure out and learn the sense of it all after all these years, right?

Did you know that prudence is considered one of the 24 psychological strengths? But what is the concept of prudence and how can you exercise it?

Most intelligent people are careful, yes, but they become too cautious that they become paralyzed by fear of making mistakes. I once read that prudence was the “brave’s intelligence” because it entails making wise decisions as you are taking risks.

This article will help you look into this strength and how to develop it best.

There is a fine line between prudence and boldness. 

Prudence is a brave person that takes their fears into account, while a bold person ignores their worries in their calculations and treads on without dread or terror.

This simple distinction between the two is why brave people hardly lose and why bold people tend to end up ‘losing’ due to their lack of perception and readiness. That skill to project forward, envision possible outcomes, and make practical judgments is a quality of character strength, Prudence.

What is Prudence?

Prudence is sometimes called “cautious wisdom,” “practical wisdom,” and “practical reason,” which means carefully weighing out choices; it is an act of stopping and thinking first before acting— it involves much self-restraint.

When one is prudent, you do not take unnecessary risks, and one tries not to say or do things that one might regret later on. Being high in prudence, you are capable of considering the long-term implication of your actions.

Prudence is the ability to objectively examine your actions’ potential consequences (a form of practical reasoning) and control yourself based on that consideration. Prudence involves visionary planning as well as short-term, goal-directed arrangement. 

What is the concept of Prudence in Positive Psychology?

In Positive Psychology, Prudence is strength under Temperance’s virtue category— one of six virtues that subcategorize the 24 character strengths and enumerates the strengths that help manage habits and protect against excess. The other forces under Temperance are forgiveness, humility, and self-regulation.

Research findings on the benefits of prudence found that it is linked with productivity and the ability to be conscientious. This strength helps in avoiding life mishaps, both physical and psychological.

Researches about Prudence: An Underrated Strength

Years ago, Tracy Steen and colleagues researched using focus groups conducted on high school students to understand how they perceive the VIA character strengths.

They found that generally, adolescents understood them well, but they tend to confuse “Humility” with “humiliation” and “Prudence” with “prudes or killjoys.” According to the researchers,

“It seems that for most students, caution/prudence is a stuffy trait associated with timidity and lack of adventurousness.”

Maybe grownups are confused and cannot differentiate, and they seem a bit disappointed to find prudence as one of their top psychological strengths. 

 Vincent Jeffries, a psychologist, describes prudence as “the use of reason to discern that which helps correct and that which hinders realizing the good.” When you take a good look, it is all about deciding on today’s actions as an alignment for one’s future, considering different possibilities, and making decisions about considering alternatives.

A person high in character strength and prudence may have a high tolerance for uncertainty because most of the time, there is a need to deal with incomplete and often disagreeing information to form judgments.

Nick Haslam, the contributor to the Prudence chapter in Character Strengths and Virtues, identifies the following qualities of prudence:

1. An envisioning attitude toward the future, and thus aligning actions for  long-term goals and ambitions
    
2. Ability to resist self-defeating urges and to continue doing valuable activities, even if they lack direct appeal (like grit)
    
3. Deep, careful, and practical thinking when making life choices
    
4. Ability to complement multiple goals into a “steady, coherent, and uncomplicated form of life.”
    
5. Ability to pursue personal good without being collectively damaging

Prudence involves creating, assessing, and harmonizing multiple goals. It may involve making hard choices.

Positive Prudence

Prudence has a very constructive side. The keyword here is forethought, to envision something before it happens. It isn’t just speculation; it’s logical reasoning.

It suggests that you think before and evaluates the situation to deduce where and what specific action might lead you.

The capacity to be prudent and have precaution is essential for decision-making as these virtues put you on the path to success and help you decide correctly more often.

Prudence also offers itself strategic problem-solving and makes mistakes more manageable when committed.

Prudence is the reverse of impulsiveness. Prudence is essential when a choice or action carries risks or dangers with it. It is a virtue closely related to intellect, reflection, and self-discipline. In difficult situations, this strength is beneficial and valuable especially if you are faced with decision-making.

Extreme prudence and emotional handling

Some people are careful but not necessarily prudent. 
Prudence also includes the capability to be brave when situations are advantageous. Otherwise, this is no longer a talk about prudence, but it is somewhat of fear.

When prudence is to the extreme, it’s not a virtue anymore. It becomes a problem of one’s emotional processing problem. Overly prudent people perceive reality as a danger.

Thus, as a result, they dodge and prevent any actions that may result in unpleasant or catastrophic conditions.

They discard anything that means change because the “prudent” choice for them means retaining the situation or world they are comfortable with and already know.

This kind of emotional processing doesn’t lead to victory or making the right decisions. It most likely leads to paralysis because eliminating all risks is practically impossible. 

Why? Because Not even in your own house or room, you are sure that you are 100% safe from hazards.

Ceilings can fall in, planes may crash, thieves may enter homes… If you always focus on probable dangers, you will never live in peace.

Is it Prudence or timidity?

Extreme prudence sometimes comes in odd forms. One of these is extreme perfectionism. Perfectionists want everything to be “according to plan/ schedule.” 

They try to preserve everything and keep them all under control, making a stance of avoiding mistakes at all costs. This obsession speaks more of fear than of caution— and what happens is that one forms a paranoid expectation that if they are to let out any loose strings, the worst will happen to them.

Some people use prudence as a justification for their inaction. These people are more timid and cowardly than careful.

People should remember that there will always come new situations that they have not prepared for, but they offer different possibilities and potential personal growth situations.

If outrightly you say “no” to something that you are not ready for just because you aren’t entirely sure of what could happen, then you are saying “no” to the offers of life itself.

Story about Prudence

Prudence is not the same as caution. Instead, it is the virtue that binds us, in each situation, to keep in mind our more profound call and final goal.

Consider the following story:

A man walking through the forest saw a fox that had lost its legs and wondered how it lived. Then he saw a tiger come up with the game in its mouth. The tiger ate its fill and left the rest of the meat for the fox. The next day God fed the fox using the same tiger.

The man began to wonder at God’s greatness and said to himself, “I too shall just rest in a corner with full trust in the Lord, and He will provide me with all I need.”

He did this for many days, but nothing happened, and he was almost at death’s door when he heard a voice say, “O you who are in the path of error, open your eyes to the truth! Stop imitating the disabled fox and follow the example of the tiger” (The Spirituality of Imperfection, p. 93).

This story illustrates the need for discernment and prudence. Growing in trust is a good thing in itself, but not if done so selfishly or recklessly.

Like any virtue, faith is not detached; it exists in real-life situations, and the integrity of prudence must direct its application. 

Imagine a world where individuals reflect on the long-term effects of their actions…

Think of it, maybe more people will consider the number of their carbon footprints as they make critical life decisions, such as where to settle for living and working or everyday choices such as shopping, exercising, or playing.

Imagine them pondering about the world that their grandchildren will be born into every time they turn on the faucet before they brush their teeth.

People having thoughtful consideration of future outcomes and others, then coupling that with action… what a world, right?

Characteristics of Prudent People

Brave person takes their fears into account, whereas bold person disregards them and ignores them in their calculations. This is why brave people rarely lose and why aggressive people tend to end up as victims of their lack of perception.

To some extent, everyone enjoys talking about themselves or about others, but sometimes we miscalculate and overstep the mark. And so, far from improving our ability to socialize, people end up distancing themselves from us.

When someone is imprudent, others stop trusting them because they aren’t respectful of the person they are criticizing in front of us, nor will they be respectful of us when they are with others.

Also, imprudent people often monopolize groups due to their great desire to be the center of attention.

Behind this is a deep need for approval, which they try to satisfy through inappropriate comments. Imprudent people who try to win others over but disregard their means’ secondary effects end up losing those people.

Prudent people are outwardly respectful toward others. 

They don’t tell secrets, criticize or make others feel uncomfortable and not know where to look. On the contrary, prudent people tend to have very close bonds of friendship because they can be fully trusted, and this is precisely the sensation that they project.

People who practice prudence are not afraid of silence. 

They don’t need to fill the conversation with a superfluous monologue so that everyone else pays attention to them. They know how to listen and respect people’s turns to speak, something which is very important if we want others to enjoy the time they share with us.

On the other hand, a prudent person is reflective: they know when to speak, what context, and at which moment. They also think about the consequences of their words.

Making mistakes is human, and the important thing is to learn from this and think before we speak next time. Although we didn’t say what we wanted to are deeply etched in our memory, the times that we get it wrong by doing the opposite are more common.

People who value prudence also tend to be empathetic.

They give themselves enough space to put themselves in the other person’s place, which means that they can reach more profound levels of intimacy. Prudent people also tend to have different values related to prudence, like respect and loyalty.

How To Develop Prudence

As we’ve seen, being prudent has the great advantage of strengthening our social relationships. It also makes others consider us polite and respectful people who can be counted on.

Prudence is a skill that can be trained, but you have to be consistent and follow some steps, according to psychologist Patricia Ramirez. With repeated practice, we can turn ourselves into people that it’s enjoyable to be with.

Think about whether this is the appropriate time and place to say something

We often tell intimate secrets, both our own and those of others, in inappropriate contexts.

We must first think about whether the people in front of us want to hear what we want to tell them and whether it is relevant to the situation we are in and, if not, it is better to keep it to ourselves.

Think about whether you are betraying someone by saying something

If you’re going to share something intimate about someone or a secret that you’ve been confided with, think twice and try not to tell it. If you tell a secret, others will think you can’t keep secrets and won’t trust you again because you’ve created the image of being disloyal.

Think about whether what you’re going to say is too intimate to share

Do others want to know all your intimate details? I don’t think so. There are certain subjects that you can’t talk to everyone about, however close you may be. We should know whom we can and whom we can’t speak openly with.

Think about whether you have permission to tell what you’re going to say

If you don’t have permission to talk about something you’ve been told, it’s simple, don’t do it. You are not the owner of this intimate detail, so let the person who is the protagonist tell the story if they want to, not you.

Practice active listening

It’s not just about talking – listening is hugely important, and we all like to be listened to. Don’t speak for the sake of saying and significantly not to interrupt someone else. Listen and then formulate your next question; don’t be afraid of silence, as this is an excellent opportunity for you to pass the conversation to the other person.

Don’t give your opinion or advice if you aren’t asked

This is not very pleasant. It is better to ask if the other person wants advice before venturing to advise for the sake of it. What is useful to us isn’t necessarily applicable to the other person, and that person is most probably an expert at knowing what they need to do.

Don’t criticize if you aren’t going to offer anything constructive with it

If the criticism doesn’t help anyone, why say it? Everything we have to say about others should be to add, not subtract. It’s no use to tell someone you don’t like their dress when they aren’t in a position to change it or without offering a better alternative.

Don’t offer favors if you’re expecting something back

Favors are done for the pleasure of helping others and never to get something back for it. We shouldn’t expect anything in exchange nor boast about having done someone a favor.

Many short-term developments and consideration is going on today, with businesses that look only at next quarter’s earnings, with politicians that focus on short-term improvements. But perhaps if we spoke with an appreciation for the long-term thinking benefits of prudence, we’d see people taking actions that profit the entire world.

Being aware of, spotting and intentionally using character strengths supports well-being in individuals and helps to build and deepen relationships.

Caution, conscientiousness, being careful. Being thoughtful about the short- and long-term impact of your actions and words. Being careful about one’s choices; not taking undue risks; not saying or doing things that might later be regretted.

Prudence is a strength that is closely linked to the other psychological strengths of Temperance, Modesty, Self-Control, and Forgiveness. These character strengths help you manage your habits and protect against excess – sometimes we call these strengths of Balance or Patience.

Examples Of Prudence In Everyday Life

Here are some suggested activities for you if you want to exercise prudence in your everyday life:

• Create a plan for the day with a child, ask them to write down all the things they want to do, and put them in order.
• Enjoy an activity that will take a long time, like a jigsaw puzzle.
• Start something for the future, like planting a garden.
• Encourage young people to clean their bedrooms!
• With older kids, help them or ask them to set a goal for school for one month or three months from now. What do they hope to achieve, and how can they work towards it?
• Set a fun goal – what’s something creative or enjoyable you could work towards?
• Notice (and celebrate!) when you act with prudence or caution.
• Practice restraint when something pushes your buttons.

Emotionally-healthy individuals take chances, but it doesn’t equate and mean that they are reckless—people can take chances simultaneously as they make likelihoods, calculations, and plans. They know there will never be assurances on absolutely all they do.

Prudent people also know that committing faults is always likely. However, there’s no need to dread them since they are an incredible pool of wisdom and experience. 

Prudence should not be considered as a fear of failing but rather an act of taking responsibility for both success and failure.